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Mikoto Uchiha by vchen79

:iconphoenixleo:
Hello,

My eyes zoomed to the hairs and the works on the clothing at first. I really like that you have put effort in both of them, with the hairs having details and the various floral pattern and the block patters fit well with the clothing adding a satin look with the low opacity selection and adding a touch of violet/purple colour.

However, I see some flaws if you will that I am sure you will be able to correct (I have seen your gallery and you have lovely works):

-First the background. Whether you zoom on the picture or not, the background looks too overwhelming and rugged compared to the overall feeling you may be trying to portray in the scene. It has more of a grungy texture that disassembles the softness that pink/white dodge colour burned effect would have. I wonder if you tried to portray sakura/cherry blossom leaves floating in the wind or not, as that's the closest it would feel with the swishing 'dust particles' in the front. If you leave some large petals, some bold while others soft and use varying transparencies, then it will feel like there are thousands of blossoms flying behind her (with her fan directing the motion) and rather make it a pleasant look.

-Lighting: I am a bit confused where your lighting is coming from. Since the face is lighted, it seems kind of weird that the hands have shadows in the same direction the light would be coming from. This changes the shadows you have used in your clothing as well as the fans and lighting around her neck. The lighting over her head decorations look legible since light would be coming from both front and the back (from the illuminated pink things/'cherry leaves', and I should add the softness you made it look in those decorations are lovely!) and lit them up.

-Anatomy: Overall the face looks okay, although the right side of the lips (her right) would be a little small since her full lips wouldn't be seen from the pose she is in. Also, the hands (as others have pointed out) look like paws and I don't see any resemblance of joints or which side they are grasping the fans from. I know how hard it is to paint/draw fingers but if you use your own hands while drawing this, it will help quite a lot. :) There are also some references in dA's Resources and Stock gallery for hand poses or posemaniacs that you can use if you wish to. Also, it will help you getting the hand sizes right, as it looks too small in this work.

-Minor stuff: I really like the 'tail' portion of the fan she is holding on her left hand and I think you did justice to it. However the textures seem quite off and looks grungy in the left fan portion. I am not sure why you have added cloud strokes on the fan (Is it to hide the hard edges of the fan or to show movement?) You can use a soft brush with low opacity to blend the fan to the background and add some dark edges to enhance the border of the fan and not make it seem as if it has contrast. Also adding some light colour strokes on the wood part holding the fans would make them more realistic and add depth than having it plain. Also adding a blurred layer and use of opacity in the fans lightly will induce making it feel as if it's moving rather than having those lines which distracts the eyes from the picture.

-Bonus: I just looked at it a bit more and I think if you edit some parts then it might solve the lighting part quite easily. As of right now your lighting looks as if it's coming from everywhere and the shading looks off. However, if you look closely, and edit the face and the fan part, so that the fan is hiding some part of the right side of the face (thus the fan would appear in the foreground than at the back of the head) then, the lighting could come from 'something' that's inside the fans and the head) allowing a circular lighting that would both light the face, as well as enable the shadows you have places in the clothes and more importantly in the hand, since those sides would be hidden translucently from the light through the fan. It will be a tricky way but might help you should you choose to do a different way. Also while it's good that you can see details in the hair, make sure you use it lightly as it looks too hmm.. 'fake' hair as if it's sitting on top of her' and blend the hair well which is done well to an extent here. :)

Overall it's okay and good luck with the contest!


This critique was requested and brought to you by the #ProjectComment system.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
14 out of 16 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconvchen79:
vchen79 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2011
that was awesome :)
its really depth give knowledge and the advice also great

thank you very much for your time to make the critique

:iconhappytearsplz:
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:iconphoenixleo:
phoenixleo Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011
:ahoy:
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:icontinkertrex:
TinkerTrex Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2011  Student General Artist
Oh God, I'm not the original artist, but this critique is beautiful and I love you for writing such a lengthy & in-deph comment on it. :love:
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:iconphoenixleo:
phoenixleo Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011
Thank you! :)
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:icontinkertrex:
TinkerTrex Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2011  Student General Artist
Very welcome! :D
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